..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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