You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
