We named our party play list daddy issues
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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