I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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