i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
