Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
