That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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