before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
