i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I showed him my bush... on skype.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
