why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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