We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Mom said you looked used
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
