Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
