therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
