The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I am midnight drunk by noon
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
