So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This house was built for laser tag.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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