Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
