You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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