check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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