he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
