I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
