U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
