dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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