I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
