I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
