Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
