Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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