That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
