just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize
