Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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