He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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