I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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