YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
