Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
