five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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