I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
