I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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