it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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