This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
