If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
