she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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