You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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