dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
