So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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