Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
