Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
