Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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