Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
