VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
