im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just puked most of my soul out..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
