I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
