I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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