It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
